7 Tips for earning his respect
When it comes to love and relationships, you want ensure that, in addition to loving you, he also respects you. One thing to keep in mind is that you can’t force him (or anyone) to respect you; it requires setting expectations and a mutual understanding.
If you are looking for a loving relationship that is going to last be the woman worth his respect, and recognize if he is worthy of yours. Here are 7 ways to ensure he respects you.
1. Hold off on sex until YOU’RE ready.
It’s not my intention to provide a conservative perspective as it’s no secret that men and women view sex differently. Emotion and sex intertwine one another as you’re letting your guard down to accept him. With most guys there is no connection there, in fact, only an end-goal.
If you sleep together on the first date, it is highly unlikely he has an intense emotional connection with you, or at least not as much as it does with you. Waiting sends a message to him that you are aware of your own self-worth and aren’t just giving it away to anybody. It’s also a great at filtering men out of your life who are only looking for a one-night stand.
The key first step in earning his respect is in knowing that he respects your choices and decisions. If respect is truly what you are seeking, the word “No” holds much to be desired in looking for the right man.
2. Challenge him on an intellectual level.
Contrary to popular belief, men go crazy over a woman that can hold her own in a friendly debate. Don’t ever feel the need to hide who you are, express your opinions (especially if they are different from his) but never do so in a way that is demeaning to him. It’s a fine art when disagreeing with someone without putting down their character; it shows open-mindedness and respect. Learn how to respectfully disagree and use it in your conversations with men. He will only admire your ability to hold your own, if not then just move on.
There’s a great article on the art of disagreeing here.
3. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
Any woman who trips down a set of stairs or gets a windy gust of hair to the face and laughs about it on a first date gets instant respect from a man. It sends a clear message to him that (aside from being clever) you’re pretty down to earth and a perfect image isn’t everything. Just keep in mind it’s a very thin line between laughing at yourself and putting yourself down in front of him. Learn where that cross-over point is and keep his interest on you instead of the competition.
Here’s a great resource for learning to laugh at yourself.
4. In order to receive respect, you have to give respect.
Everyone knows the golden rule “Treat others the way you want to be treated”, or something along those lines. Just as you will receive as much love as you give, if you don’t show him respect, he won’t give you any respect in return.
When we say respect him it doesn’t only apply when you’re together or out in public. Respect his space, his privacy, his time and his honesty. Expressing your thanks to him for it goes a long way.
“Thanks for calling me back; thanks for helping meeting me here today; thanks for taking the time to…” You see the picture I’m painting here, right? A simple thank you can show tremendous effort in showing that you appreciate and respect him and appreciation is at the top of a man’s list coming from the woman they love. Don’t undervalue it, your actions will be reciprocated sooner than you think.
5. Be honest with him, more importantly be honest with yourself.
It’s unfortunate but in today’s society honesty is rare. This should go without saying but always be honest with him especially when you know he won’t like what you have to say. Keep it real, there’s something to be said about brutally honest words but also know when it is appropriate.
When you are honest with him you earn his respect as a quality person who is much different from most others. Honesty is what honesty gets, be honest with him and he will be honest with you.
You can read a short excerpt on honesty in relationships here.
6. Show him how you want to be treated.
Knowing your worth and not putting up with anything less as a woman not only earns his respect, but more importantly the respect of those around you. If during a conversation he says something that was out of line, don’t be afraid to call him out on it. If you have plans to be somewhere and he’s late or doesn’t keep his commitments, call him out on it.
When he is made aware of certain things you won’t tolerate it puts him in check, making him aware of his actions and understanding there is an expectation of respect. If he really wants a lasting relationship, he will show (not just talk about) a commitment to improvement.
Please keep in mind that this is another topic with a thin line. There is a difference with putting him in check over showing up an hour late versus a genuine delay, which we leave to your understanding of him as a person.
7. Above all else, respect yourself.
Another topic that should go without saying is if you don’t love and respect yourself, others will notice regardless of how well you communicate it verbally. Someone who has little love and respect for themselves cannot expect it from others. Well nothing can stop them from expecting it, but it will only end in disappointment. Body language that shows off your confidence, such as smiling or eye contact during conversations show him that you are comfortable with yourself and have no problem showing it.
Give respect to get respect
Like every relationship in life, be it you best friend, mom or a guy, you can’t make anyone respect you; respect has to be earned. Being honest, keeping promises, sticking to your standards and letting others be who they are allows you to become a woman of worth. A woman that men will not only want to be around, but will feel a need to be around. We all love to be around quality people; be that quality person that people want to be around.
Wishing you all the best in relationship success!
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